If the earth shook

i just had a thought
would he even call me
if there were an earthquake?

knowing the answer is probably no
breaks my heart
more than when i walked out the door

because it would prove
that he never truly cared
and i gave my heart to someone
who did not deserve it

Reaching the end

I never like to read the last 2 pages of a book.  I close the book, with my finger still trapped inside.  I take a deep breathe and make myself finish the author's last few words, ideas and saying good bye.  I am not sure if it is that I am scared of saying good bye, or that I already know what he will say. 

We are just remnants of past loves
Until we learn to love ourselves

Signing of the Waves

I sit with the sun rays slowly bidding good night and good day
My hair slowly flows with the breeze as the sand mites bite at my toes
I dig my bare feet freshly released from the confinement of their work shoes into the cool sand that seems to give them warmth
My eyes are slowly drying from the tears of loneliness
They glance out onto the never ending energy that supplies the enticement of the dark forms hoping to partake in that energy
Many attempt but a few succeed 
Sometimes only one man at a time
He flays his arms in an attempt to appease Neptune
He accepts his sacrifice and takes him with in his arms
The surfer signs his signature amongst the wave
Carving with great intention but knowing that only the memory will last
His mind might even forget but his body will remember for if not only a moment longer
Once the period is placed the surfer is once again consumed and released from the godly grasp
My eyes follow if at only to partake in his experience
To gather insight but also to realize that he too is alone in that moment
The foam crashes amongst the rocks 
Settling for a brief moment before being pulled back into the whole
With each crash onto the shore slowly attempting to touch my feet
Trying to pull me into it
The surfer is now standing showing that he is taller than the elements
He is escaping the body and retreating to solid ground
For a moment he glances upon me
I have stolen his moment and he has of mine
As soon as he is there, he is gone 
Once again trying to sign the wave

Detaching Happiness

I am onto this new idea of detaching happiness from other people and I guess you could include other things.  I refuse to rely on other people to make myself happy.  It is pretty funny because once I started to do this I find myself just smiling for no apparent reason.  I am not smiling because I met a new guy, won money or someone did something for me.  I am smiling because I am me and I am the only one that can ever make myself truly happy.  Not to say that other people can't make me happy.  I am simply and not so simply saying that it HAS to come from me first and always.  Once, you start detaching yourself from others you will find that you can allow yourself to be happy.  You lose the excuses like "Only if my wife did this for me then I would be happy" or "Only if my boss was nice to me then I would be happy".  People are flawed and everyone is a little self absorbed.  So, to base your happiness on them is a tad foolish.  Happiness is a tiny light shining in everyone.  It is your choice to turn your own light on. Because if you wait for someone else to... then you may stay dimmed for a very long time.