Boxed In

I was born in a box

I have spent

The first 26 years

Trying to open the lid

Fading as time goes by

The loneliness is palpable

The ghost of you sits on my chest 

Making it harder to breathe

There is no way backwards

The only hope 

Is to move forward 

Hoping that the air can make it to my lungs

That the tears will dry

And one day this will be a distant memory

Fading as you do 

From my mind and from my heart

The Walls of Self

I am sitting frustrated and confused 

In a fortress of my own making

If not me but the choices i have made

They have resulted in each brick

Love burned is the mortar

The door opens briefly

But closes in the same amount of time

It is testing the atmosphere

But it is protecting the self within

No one else can know

No one else can see

It is too fragile

The fear keeps the bricks strong

The frustration hits the walls

Both from the interior and exterior

One day... you. 

You who my mind does not even know exists

You who my heart and soul hopes does

Will be allowed to enter

But only if you can withstand the arrows

Eros will hit you with his 

Others want in 

But only you shall be given the key

I dare not even say this is only fantasy

Childhood Notions

When I was a child I believed in God.
I would talk with God.
When doubt entered my mind as I grew
I hoped it was better to believe than the other option
When my legs stopped growing and my mind started to
I began to believe that it is better to live your life honestly
You learn that you can not lie to yourself
Not that the whole concept has broken apart
It has simply evolved
God has a new name
Or no name at all
And he is no longer man-made

I do not wish to change the world

I wish to be part of the world

To exist in something that is ever changing

To help with the progression

And not the degradation

If I could choose

I would choose to fall in love with the stars.

But those too are fading

And just an illusion
Of something great
That does not exist anymore.